Apr. 2nd, 2004

briarswt: (Default)
OK, so I thought that this would happen, but I need to let this out.

After spending two days panicing over my roomie and her health, I find out that there was nothing to have been worrying over in the FIRST place. I'm sorry I got so worked up, but I had no way of knowing. Needless to say, none of my work got done those two days. I'm just glad that roomie is as ok as she can be at this point.

Then my friend decides that since it's April Fool's Day, she'd play a trick. She came to me in tears telling me that she was being forced into an arranged marriage. I'm such a little fool that I immediately worry and believe her. *Rolls eyes at myself* I'm not mad at her, because believe me I should've been on the alert for something like this. I'm irritated at myself.

Then I hop online this morning to check my email and find out that my professor has lost my damned paper. Now, I'm an idiot, because I assumed by last night that if I hadn't heard, she had it. So, in an attempt to clean out my hard drive, I deleted the essay. Smart move on my part, I know. I know. So, now, I've got until midnight tonight to get it rewritten and turned in. Needless to say, I will have more than just a single copy of my essay this time. I want this to get in.

I get to class and realize I forgot another paper that was back in my room, so I had to run back and grab it.

I really need to stop being so scatterbrained, but I honestly thought I had everything settled. I just want to be home at this point. I think a cuddle with my Roxy Bear would heal a heck of a lot of my stress.

Thing is, it's no one's fault but mine that I'm feeling a little overwhelmed at this point. It's not like my friends MAKE me take on their emotional stress. I want them to feel like they can come to me if they need to talk. They can. I don't always know what to say or how to respond, but my ear is always perched. I do it on my own.

I'm too emotionally involved with everyone. One of these days, I'm going to break, I know it. But it's me. How do I change who I am? Dropping everything for everyone if it's humanly possible is who I am. So, right now I'm trying to concentrate on school. If I can make it through the next few weeks, I'll be ok. Like my last post said, I think it's the time of year that's causing me to crack. As soon as the school ends for the year, I'll feel more capable of being the friend I try to be.


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June 2012

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